Pretender.

I'm done pretending.

Pretending to be happy,

pretending to care,

pretending to not care.

All of it.

I'm me.

Whitney Alayna.

No one else.

Nothing will change me.

I need to put a smile on my face.

A real smile.

For once.

Famous.

The "Famous People I've Met" List...

-Joe Nichols, country singer

-Chris, singer of the band NeverShoutNever!

-Jeremy Depoyster, guitarist of the band The Devil Wears Prada

-Mike Hart, football player (played for Michigan & now Indianapolis Colts)

-Darren McFadden, football player (played for Arkansas & now Oakland Raiders)

-Marshawn Powell, basketball player (currently plays for University of Arkansas)

I can now add another name to the list:

Tony Ugoh... tackle of the Indianapolis Colts. Former Arkansas Razorback.

He came into Buffalo Wild Wings tonight

while I was working

to watch the fights.

Nice guy. :)

He's also huuuuuuge. Hah.

As you can see.

funk.

So for the past few days,

I've avoided this thing.

I didn't want to go on some rant

that didn't make any sense.

I've been in a super funk.

To the point that when I'd wake up,

I'd force myself to go back to sleep.
Not because I was tired,

but because I just didn't want to be awake.

I'm a happy person.

I always have been.

But the past few days,

it's been so hard to even pretend to be happy.

(& I'm usually pretty good at that, too.)

However,

thanks to my wonderful friends,

& a fun new hair color,

I've been pulled out of the funk.

I realized that I have every reason to be happy.

Therefore, I'll be happy from now on.

Honestly.

:)

Oh, here's my new hair! <3

First things first:

I'm sorry.

I'm know you won't see this,

but I had to say it anyways.

I wish I could take it all back.

For the sake of our friendship,

and for the sake of my dignity.

:/

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Secondly,

I love my friends.

We went out to a hunting cabin in Huntsville, AR

for Miss Lindsey's birthday.

Had. So. Much. Fun!

Random romping adventures.

Tequila & chasing it with margarita mix.

Falling asleep by the fire.
Falling in general.

Star-gazing & gravel-laying.

Truck rides.

"Give me a BEEEEEEEEER."

Drink every time you say "tree."

Top bunk madness.

Drunken heart-to-hearts.

Text messages.

Balloon popping.

Calling teachers.

"So did you."

Camouflage.

"Patron, you my nigga."

+ all the other stuff we don't remember.

Ahhh, what a night. :)

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I thought this summer would be non-stop fun.

Definitely not true.

Don't get me wrong - I've had a lot of fun,

but there's quiet days too.

I've come to love those the most.

Days where I can sit by myself,

well.. with my yorkie,

& think about everything.

Sometimes the thinking part hurts,

like today,

but other days it's helpful.

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As lame was "Arkansas" sounds,

& as lame as I make the place sound,

I'm really going to miss it.

Y

Old.

Ok.
I'm officially getting old.

My little stepbrother, Casey,
is graduating high school tonight.

This is how I remember Casey:

He was also goofing off & making us laugh.
He always did what we told him to.
Like dress up as Britney Spears or Christina Augilera.

When I first moved to Arkansas,
he was the reason I stayed here.
He became my best friend.
We would raid Hot Topic & then go to the movies.
We introduced each other to different bands
& just loved hanging out.

Obviously,
we both grew out of that stage.
We both started hanging out with our own friends, ha.

He's still one of the easiest people to talk to.
He's one of the best listeners in the world,
& one of the greatest people I've ever known.

Congratulations Casey Ray.
You've gone through so much,
& you've come out on top.
I'm so very proud of you.
Love you always.
Y

New Tattoo!

So, Tuesday, I got a new tattoo.
My 4th one.
& I love it.

It's from a song by my favorite band:

The Spill Canvas.

"Heaven's not a place that you go when you die,
it's that moment in life when you actually feel alive,
SO LIVE FOR THE MOMENT..."
-The Tide

:)

Rain, rain, go away.. :(

First & foremost, I'd like to say

Happy 20th Birthday

to one of the most beautiful people,

inside & out,

to ever grace this planet,

Hailey Lynn Rice.

Rest in Peace Sweet Angel.

We all know you're up there, celebrating, & watching over us as we do the same. You know we're all gonna celebrate! ;) I love you and miss you every day.

Secondly,

I. AM. DONE. WITH. THE. SEMESTER!!!

Now, it's just time to sit around & wait for grades to come out!

Hoping I passed everything.. or it's summer courses for Whitney.

BOOOOOOO.

And this rain needs to go away.

For real.

I thought APRIL showers were supposed to bring MAY flowers.

But no.

May showers bring scary tornadoes

& prevent me from wearing sundresses & jorts.

LAME WEATHER ARKANSAS!

Just lame.

The end.

Y