Pretender.

I'm done pretending.

Pretending to be happy,

pretending to care,

pretending to not care.

All of it.

I'm me.

Whitney Alayna.

No one else.

Nothing will change me.

I need to put a smile on my face.

A real smile.

For once.

Famous.

The "Famous People I've Met" List...

-Joe Nichols, country singer

-Chris, singer of the band NeverShoutNever!

-Jeremy Depoyster, guitarist of the band The Devil Wears Prada

-Mike Hart, football player (played for Michigan & now Indianapolis Colts)

-Darren McFadden, football player (played for Arkansas & now Oakland Raiders)

-Marshawn Powell, basketball player (currently plays for University of Arkansas)

I can now add another name to the list:

Tony Ugoh... tackle of the Indianapolis Colts. Former Arkansas Razorback.

He came into Buffalo Wild Wings tonight

while I was working

to watch the fights.

Nice guy. :)

He's also huuuuuuge. Hah.

As you can see.

funk.

So for the past few days,

I've avoided this thing.

I didn't want to go on some rant

that didn't make any sense.

I've been in a super funk.

To the point that when I'd wake up,

I'd force myself to go back to sleep.
Not because I was tired,

but because I just didn't want to be awake.

I'm a happy person.

I always have been.

But the past few days,

it's been so hard to even pretend to be happy.

(& I'm usually pretty good at that, too.)

However,

thanks to my wonderful friends,

& a fun new hair color,

I've been pulled out of the funk.

I realized that I have every reason to be happy.

Therefore, I'll be happy from now on.

Honestly.

:)

Oh, here's my new hair! <3

First things first:

I'm sorry.

I'm know you won't see this,

but I had to say it anyways.

I wish I could take it all back.

For the sake of our friendship,

and for the sake of my dignity.

:/

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Secondly,

I love my friends.

We went out to a hunting cabin in Huntsville, AR

for Miss Lindsey's birthday.

Had. So. Much. Fun!

Random romping adventures.

Tequila & chasing it with margarita mix.

Falling asleep by the fire.
Falling in general.

Star-gazing & gravel-laying.

Truck rides.

"Give me a BEEEEEEEEER."

Drink every time you say "tree."

Top bunk madness.

Drunken heart-to-hearts.

Text messages.

Balloon popping.

Calling teachers.

"So did you."

Camouflage.

"Patron, you my nigga."

+ all the other stuff we don't remember.

Ahhh, what a night. :)

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I thought this summer would be non-stop fun.

Definitely not true.

Don't get me wrong - I've had a lot of fun,

but there's quiet days too.

I've come to love those the most.

Days where I can sit by myself,

well.. with my yorkie,

& think about everything.

Sometimes the thinking part hurts,

like today,

but other days it's helpful.

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As lame was "Arkansas" sounds,

& as lame as I make the place sound,

I'm really going to miss it.

Y