Random thoughts for the day.

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I hate change.

I understand that sounds odd,

seeing as how I'm facing a big change in two months.

But I do.

I can't stand it.

Let me explain...

I don't hate physical change or a change in location.

I hate when people change.

You really think you know someone.

Then an outside entity comes into the picture, and everything's completely different.

Maybe they weren't showing me their true selves.

Maybe now is the real person they truly are.

I guess I'll never know.
I'll just have to take everything with a grain of salt.

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I'm ruined.

Weird statement, yes.

But I am.

I've been through some dumb relationships.

Ones that I knew were going to end badly.

But I fell head over heels like always,

and of course,

my heart was broken.

I always got over it and moved on.

My last relationship ended at the end of October 2009.

I'm still feeling the hurt from it.

Not because of him as a person.

I don't miss him, and he isn't the reason I'm ruined.

What he did is why I'm ruined.

I thought I had found someone good for me.
I put my whole heart into the relationship, just like I always do.

We had so much fun together and I was happy.

Then like a light switch, he changed.
Literally, it came out of nowhere.

I didn't understand, and I still don't.

That's why I'm ruined.
The not-knowing.

Of course, I never got an explanation.

Not a truthful one, at least.

Now I'm terrified of putting myself out on a limb again.

I'm afraid of falling.

And hitting rock bottom,

hard.

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I hate storms.

That's the worst thing about spring in the south.

Dark clouds.

Storms.

Tornadoes.

Lightning.

Thunder.

Eeeeek.

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And a random ending to my random thoughts:

a little of a song that's been running through my head today.

I got ice in my veins, blood in my eyes

Hate in my heart, love in my mind

I see nights full of pain, days of the same

You keep the sunshine, save me the rain

I search but never find, hurt but never cry

I work and forever try, but I'm cursed so never mind

-Drop the World, Lil' Wayne ft. Eminem

The beginning of the end...

Funny how no matter where I run,

'Round every bend I only see,
Just how far I haven't come.

Every mile a memory...

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Well, first I'll give you a little background.

My name's Whitney.

I've been through a lot and learned a lot

in my 23 short years on this earth.

I've traveled the world,

and I'm no where close to slowing down.

I'm a wanderer, and I love it.

Most people don't know that

I was born in Rogers, Arkansas in 1986.

I've since lived in Colorado, Georgia, England, and New York.

But, if you ask me, I'm a New Yorker. Through and through.

I've been to the beautiful countries of Italy and France.

It is my goal in life to make it back once again.

I moved back to my hometown of Rogers in July of 2007.

New York got a little too much for me to handle.

I wanted a change and had family in Arkansas.

So my travels brought me back to my beginning.

Now, my travels are continuing.

I will be moving to the Great State of Texas at the end of July.

Two more months until I move forward with my life.

I want to savor every moment,

with the people here who I love,

and love me back. Y

So that's the purpose of this blog:

To document my last few months in Arkansas.

Here's to remembering,

the past,

the present

and the future

...the path I'm walking.

Hope you enjoy it.☮